Life Changing Decisions

While I have spoken here before about frequently finding myself with more tasks in my in box than I have hours in the day, well I have finally put my foot down on this. While in the past I have been willing to help people, groups and organisations that are involved in conservation issues, but far to often there are people involved in these groups who try to exploit my willingness to try and help. Often not being prepared to do any of the practical work. Or at the very least when they do any work it is just the easy bits.

An example of this is dealing with invasive plant species. As any gardener could tell you to remove a vigorous weed requires ongoing removal. Controlling plants like this requires work to be done year on year. It is boring work, its hard work but it is worthwhile. However, often with many of the people that I have been dealing with they want other people to do the work but they want the praise if the work gets done. Now I recognise that here where I am writing about what I am doing, it may seem as though I am bigging myself up, but I can not see how else I can write about what I am involved in. Yet for some of the people associated with these projects, I don't give them enough credit for what they do. Equally I am often asked not to identify a location or people. Therefore I can only write about my small role in this.

Personally I would love to write about where these groups are and who knows, someone reading my nonsense may even want to volunteer too. But as often happens the people who have appointed themselves as “in charge” will hang on to their self appointed status. Therefore I frequently face people who need their ego massaged but do not really do anything.

Therefore while I have been willing to share my skills, I just end up being exploited. So I have put my foot down and I will not be so willing to do much of this in the future. Not least I am frequently faced by people are doing the conservation work or project for selfish reasons. Often relating to the price of their house. While I personally believe in aiding the environment just to aid the environment for everyone. Equally I have problems where I offer my help to all and one group in one village or location becomes jealous of me also helping people in another village. To me it all becomes so childish and petty. While these folks are supposed to be adults, I often am left feeling that I am working in a kindergarten.

For me this came to a head as I was asked, in a panic, to re do a major grant application. Having done this one already, and had most of my ideas rejected by the people making the application, I was not to keen. But they had just days to complete this, and the grant awarding authority had suggested that many of the factors that I had suggested originally would mean that their application was looked upon favourably. So as I had the understanding of what was needed I did help.

However, I did feel as though I was being used and to quite honest I am sick of the selfish attitudes of a few. I have my own projects that I want and need to work on. While I know that this may seem rather negative, making this discussion feels so liberating. While the environment and wildlife will always be my main focus, issues like human rights, exploitation in all its forms are also strong interests. And my life is evolving and this Blog will reflect that.

As my regular reader will already know I do occasionally write on human rights issues, here and on a blog that is specifically for that topic. Via that I was mailed by a young woman who shares my interest in a fair and just society. Having decided I wanted to reduce my involvement with other peoples selfish agenda, I decided to visit the Amnesty International book shop in Newcastle. While trying to find out some more information so that I could write more effectively about the issues and injustices in the world, I mentioned my blog(s). A young woman who was in there approached me and she knew and had read my blog.

We had a chat and decided to go for a coffee. I bet my reader is already ahead of me here and she was the woman that I had been talking to by email already.

Its funny but there have been times when folks in my village seem to have tried to play matchmaker with me. Why I have no idea as while I am single and alone, I am not lonely. Nor was I actively seeking a relationship, but this young woman and I just connected and clicked. We have been in contact everyday since and we have develop strong feeling to and with each other.

I would not have believed it, but we have fallen in love with each other. I almost feel like a teenager again, but with less hair (much less hair).

It is funny as I was trying to adjust my life a little and I never expected anyone to come into my life and especially not like this. One of the greatest difficulties I find with people is that while I may share interests with them, my values seem to be so different from the norm. I value people, justice the environment far above money. And its rare to find someone who shares these values. In my new girlfriend/partner I have found a soul mate and lover.

Now, I find that my life has changed in the most wonderful way.